Hetalia and Stitch: Where aliens meet idiots
by chibibeanie
Summary: Lilo and Stitch thought the new girl in their Hula class would be a great friend. They just didn't know she was a centuries old personification of the state of Hawaii sent to observe Stitch and possibly take him away to become a dissection frog for the American government. Lucky for them, however, she is rather incompetent at her job... Canon for Hetalia will show up eventually.
1. Who needs logic when you have fun?

A/N: Hello people of . I recently re-watched the Lilo and Stitch movies and the plot bunnies attacked me yet again, so here is a Lilo and Stitch/Hetalia multi-chapter crossover. Ya know, cause I don't have like ten other stories to finish.../shot

This is in the time-frame after Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch, but before Stitch! The Movie.

* * *

It was another normal Sunday for the Pelekai family. Lilo and Stitch headed off to hula class, Nani went to work, Jumba was making... something in his lab on the ship, and Pleakley was reading fashion magazines and trying on new wigs.

Lilo and Stitch, having found the hover-car Nani had tried to hide from them, drove it to class at high speed, but still ended up late. Again. When they threw the door open and Lilo shouted, "Sorry I'm late!" with Stitch grunting a similar apology, they noticed the eyes of the eight year old division looking at them oddly as well as the eyes of the teacher, Moses Puloki, a.k.a Kumu, and an unfamiliar little girl standing beside him. Although Lilo knew she had never met the little girl before in her life, the girl also felt oddly familiar and comfortable to be around. She was tan, with big dark eyes and dark hair like her own, and her silky locks were tied in two low pig tails reaching past her waist and had a pink and white hibiscus tucked behind one ear. The new girl looked mildly surprised to see Lilo and Stitch barge through the door, but soon thereafter gave the two a bright smile. When Lilo mirrored the smile, the girl shyly hid behind Kumu and grasped his hand, earning a fond smile from the larger man.

There was also a light chuckle heard from the back of the classroom. A lovely, tanned young woman, roughly around Nani's age, watched the scene with interest. She had waist length wavy black hair and large chocolate brown eyes. Three white sampaguitas adorned her dark hair and she wore a white sundress with a red floral design. She was very pretty and well developed.

"Lilo," Kumu sighed, snapping Lilo back to reality. "Why are you late to class _again_?"

"I'm sorry Kumu, but I had help Nani put out the fire Uncle Jumba started in aunt Pleakley's hair so she could get to work on time," Lilo explained. Kumu sighed again and told Lilo to sit with the rest of the class.

"Now girls," Kumu began, "I have some very special news today, because we will be having a brand new student join our class," Kumu looked down at the girl peeking out from behind one of his legs. He lightly tapped her forward to introduce herself. The girl sent one slightly scared look to the back of the room at the woman, who gave her a reassuring smile.

"H-hello. I'm Kiele. N-nice to meet you," Kiele stuttered nervously. The girls and Stitch chorused an Aloha back to Kiele, who smiled nervously.

"Alright Kiele, go sit with the other girls and get to know them before we begin. I need to discuss some things with your sister," Kumu said, patting Kiele on the back towards the other girls in the class. He and Kiele's 'sister', stepped outside to discuss some things about Kiele's enrollment. Of course, Mertle Edmonds was the first to introduce herself to the new girl.

"I'm Mertle, the prettiest and best dancer in the class," Mertle said, bowing grandly. "And these are my friends, Yuki, Teresa, and Elena," she added, gesturing to the girls behind her. Yuki, Teresa, and Elena all greeted Kiele with cheerful hellos that Kiele happily returned. The four girls fawned over how much fun the class is going to be with the new student, when Kiele noticed Lilo and Stitch hanging around and watching from a distance. Tugging on Mertle's arm with one hand, Kiele pointed to Lilo and Stitch.

"Who's that?" Noticing the attention moving to her, Lilo puffed her chest out hopefully. Mertle looked disgustedly in Lilo's direction and made a face like she was throwing up.

"Ew, you don't want to talk _them. _That's Weirdlo and her stupid dog. You should stay away, or their weirdness will rub off on you," Mertle sneered. The three other girls followed that with a drawn out, sarcastic "Yeeeeeaahh."

Kiele furrowed her brow and looked from the laughing group of girls, to the now dejected looking Lilo, with Stitch patting her arm and telling her, "It's ok."

"That's not very nice," Kiele said. All of the girls turned to look at her.

"What?" Mertle said, scrunching her nose in distaste.

"I said, 'that's not very nice'. My _ate_ told me that making fun of people isn't very nice." Kiele repeated. She walked over to Lilo and Stitch and held out a hand.

"I'm Kiele. Your name is Lilo, right?" Kiele smiled. Lilo looked a bit shocked at first, but then smiled brightly back.

"That's right! And this is Stitch. He's an alien." Lilo said, shaking Kiele's hand. The girls in the class, who didn't believe anything Lilo said about aliens, laughed at her... until Kiele exclaimed, "Cool! My dad has an alien too! His name is Tony."

Mertle and her friends stared at Lilo and Kiele, who happily discussed their many adventures involving space aliens and the supernatural.

"I didn't think it was possible," Mertle said to no one in particular, but loud enough to direct all attention to herself, "but there is actually someone on this planet as weird as Weirdlo is." Lilo was about to pounce on the other girl, but Stitch and Kiele held her back.

"Not worth it," Stitch said, and Kiele nodded in agreement.

"And what the heck is an Ah-taye anyways?" Mertle said, sticking her nose in the air. The other girls yeah-ed again and Kiele puffed up her cheeks up angrily.

"It's _ate, _and she's my big sister!" Kiele shouted at Mertle, who harrumphed.

"Was she that lady who went with Kumu? Her name is stupid. Who names their kid Ate?" Mertle sneered, angering Kiele further. The girl bunched her hands into tight fists and glared daggers at Mertle as her face reddened with anger.

"Her name isn't _ate, _it's Maria. And don't make fun of her!" Kiele shouted. Mertle harrumphed again and replied snobbishly, "That name is just as dumb as Ate is." Before Mertle's posse could yeah again, Kiele screamed and dove at Mertle. She tackled the other girl to the ground and started hitting her face while Lilo and Stitch cheered her on just as Kumu and Maria walked back inside. Kumu widened his eyes in surprise and Maria gasped, immediately running to Kiele and lifting her off of the other girl. Feeling Maria's touch, Kiele instantly twisted around and clung onto her neck, as Maria held her head and rocked her to calm her down.

Mertle's friends helped her up and handed her her glasses that were flung off in the scuffle.

"Maria, if Kiele is going to behave like that in the class, she may not be allowed back here-" Kumu started, but Maria cut him off.

"I understand Kumu, but Kiele has always been a peaceful, kind, and tranquil girl, and has very rarely acted up like that. There must be a good reason she did what she did. Let me talk to her to see what happened, and you should as that one-" she gestured to Mertle with her head, "-her side of the story," Maria said sternly. For as long as she knew the little Hawaiian girl, she was very peaceful, even helping stop arguments in her own hectic family of 52 kids and equally childish father. Carrying the smaller girl to the far side of the classroom, where she was sure no one would hear them, Maria put Kiele on her feet and grasped her by her shoulders.

"Hawaii," Maria sighed, "Why did you hit that girl?" Kiele, or the anthropomorphic personification of the state of Hawaii, averted her eyes from those of her non-related older sister, the Republic of the Philippines.

"She was making fun of you _ate,_" Kiele said quietly. Maria sighed and smiled lightly at her little sister. She even chuckled a little.

"Well I'm very happy that you would stick up for me like that, but violence isn't the answer. Remember _anak_, sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

Kiele nodded solemnly. Maria grinned, "But that was a good punch you threw back there, I may make a boxer out of you yet!" Maria tickled Kiele's exposed stomach, making the girl laugh and return to her bright, happy smile. Maria smiled back happily.

"There's my smiling little Hawaii," She hugged Kiele close, the younger girl wrapping her arms around her neck. Maria patted Kiele's back affectionately a few times before releasing her and standing back up. She took Kiele's hand and asked, "Are you ready to rejoin the class?" Kiele nodded and swung her arms back and forward happily as they walked towards the rest of the hula class, where Lilo and Stitch were arguing with Mertle about what happened while Kumu held one hand to his forehead and slowly shook his head. Maria stared intently at the little blue dog-koala-alien thing named Stitch, as she recalled the reason she and Kiele had been sent to Kauai.

_Observe the extra-terrestrial and detain the being if necessary._

Looking at how close the blue creature was to the native girl, Maria hoped the alien would give her no reason to remove Stitch from Hawaii, or to turn him in for scientific research. Taking her seat at the back of the class, Maria rested her chin in her palms as she made a mental note to herself to smack the Personification of America the next time she saw him for putting her in such a bad situation.

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A/N: You likey? Review, and I will continue~

And the other nations, plus some states, will make appearances, don't worry.

I don't own Lilo and Stitch or Hetalia, but if I did, South-East Asia and South/Central America would have more canon characters.


	2. Stupid Evil Gingers

"1, 2, 3, 4- Very good girls!" Kumu praised his eight year old hula dance class. He was especially surprised at his most recent student, Kiele, who had been making unbelievable progress in her dancing. She was far more advanced and natural in her dances compared to his other students, even in the older divisions, as if she'd been dancing the hula for centuries. Which, in reality, was true. She was the personification of the state of Hawaii after all. It had been three weeks since she had join the class and had already made her way to the top, which if course didn't sit too well with Mertle and her posse. They constantly tried tripping her during routines or sabotaging her hula skirt so it'd fall down, but the little Hawaiian always managed to slip away unscathed. Especially with the help of Lilo and Stitch. The two quickly became good friends with Kiele, much to Maria's delight. they would often play together, running around the little islander and entertaining all of the residents.

"Alright girls, gather around," Kumu said, gesturing for the girls to form a circle. They all sat in a circle around Kumu, listening intently. "Next week we'll be having a hula showcase!" Kumu said enthusiastically. The girls awed in delight, and started chattering to one another. "The theme for this showcase will be trust, so you will be put into two groups. Each group is to come up with a routine together and perform it. The winning group will get a special medal and their picture put in the paper." The girls awed in delight.

"Really, our pictures in the newspaper?"

"That's so cool!"

"I-we'll be famous!" Mertle and the other girls immediately huddled together as a group, leaving Lilo, Stitch, and Kiele as the second group. Not that they minded, rather, they preferred it that way.

"I've been in the newspaper before, so it's really not that big a deal for me." Lilo said. Stitch nodded in agreement, with a strange guttural sound.

"Really? Why?" Kiele asked. She'd been in the paper plenty of times as well, though in several different eras, and under different aliases. She figured telling Lilo the last time she was in the paper was in 1992, for 'accidentally' blowing up part of her brother, Texas' wasn't that great of an idea. Even if the jerk deserved it.

"Well, me and Stitch kinda blew up the house when it got attacked by aliens who came to capture Stitch. It's okay though, cause we built it again. Ant Jumba and Pleakley are our Ohana now too!" Lilo beamed. Kiele couldn't help but crack a smile. Sure, that story made very little sense, but neither did Kiele's life. Who's to judge?

"I don't really care about the prize either. I just think it'd be fun to dance together," Kiele smiled. Lilo and Stitch looked a little shocked for a moment, as if they'd never heard anything like that before, then smiled back. "Yeah."

"Look at this girls! Wierdlo and her new friend Ick-iele are being dumb again!" Mertle laughed. Her friends immediately backed her up with a loud, obnoxious, "Yeeeaaaahh!" Kiele rolled her eyes, and Lilo frowned. Stitch growled.

"Ew, keep your stupid dog away from us!" Mertle shrieked, batting her hand at Stitch, who snapped at her. Mertle immediately retracted her hand, making a disgusted face.

"I hope you don't think you possibly stand a chance against _us_ in the hula showcase," Mertle scoffed, "I mean, I'm a way better hula dancer than either of you, and it's pretty obvious who's going to get that medal and their picture in the paper." As if rehearsed, Yuki, Teresa, and elena threw in another drawn out 'yeah,' and glared at Lilo and Kiele.

"You might as well give up now," Mertle said, flipping her soul-less ginger hair.(ermahgerd I'm so sorry about this. I just wanted to make a ginger joke...)"Before you embarrass yourselves." She laughed and walked away with the rest of her friends, who were also laughing. Lilo, Stitch, and Kiele glared daggers after them.

"You wanna win now?" Kiele asked.

"Yup,"

"Ich,"

"So we all agree then." The three looked at each other, when Lilo suddenly exclaimed, "TO THE HOVERCRAFT!"

And so they went.

Meanwhile...

"Oh yes of course, of _course_ I'm keeping a close eye on them. Kiele and Stitch!" Maria exclaimed into her phone. "I'm watching them as we speak America. Don't worry, I have everything under control, you can trust me, ok? Alright, I'll see you at the conference. Bye." She hung up her phone and sighed, throwing it down in the sand next to her bags. Maria laid comfortably on her stomach on the soft towel on the beach. The sun overhead was perfect, not too hot or cold, and there were few people around to bother her. Pure bliss. She propped herself up for a second to take a sip of the Pina Colada she had sitting nearby, when something whizzed by overhead. Onboard of whatever whizzed by, was Kiele, her friend, and the alien-dog-koala-thing.

"HEY ATE! WE'RE GOING TO GO TAKE REVENGE ON A SOULESS GINGER WHO MADE FUN OF US! I'LL BE BACK FOR DINNER!"

...

...

...

"Don't break anything!"

"OKAY!" Kiele and her new friends disappeared from view, and Maria settled back into her towel and dozed off.

"Yeah... I've got this... totally.. under... control..."

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A/N: I'm really sorry if you happen to be a ginger and reading this fic. I love redheads, but I also love making jokes about them. Short chapter is short. Myeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh. K bai.


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